I do not pretend to be a logical person. I do not understand very much about anything. I cannot actively recall too much information. I do not know what goes on inside my brain. I have even been to a psychologist before who struggled to figure out what was going on my noggin.
I can tell you this. I usually do not meditate on things very long. This is likely due to my ADHD/ADD whatever syndrome. When I say something, it has usually just occurred to me and often not to return. This phenomena came to my awareness when I was talking to one of my friends. She was going through a hard time and wanted somebody to listen and to give advice. I was a little puzzled why she thought me to be a worthy subject but there I was. So, I listened. And since I have been feeling convicted on being in conversations and listening only for the intent of having a response such that I wasn't paying full attention to them, I decided to set all things aside and when she was talking, I listened. Then, at the end of the story I heard myself begin to speak. I heard the words seemingly for the first time as if I was hearing them from someone else. Yet they were coming from my own mouth. Shouldn't I know what I was saying? It was so bizarre that I was hearing words as if listening to another person talk yet they were coming from my mouth. They were not my thoughts. So, where did they come from? I believe that since the words were uplifting and edifying to another believer that it couldn't be denied of their divine origin.
I have seen this situation repeated several other times and I have never gotten over it. I do not understand it.
There is much that I don't understand about myself, my world and my God. I feel like I am in a perpetual confusion. Now, I must analyze do I find myself feeling lost in a paralyzing vortex of overwhelming chaos due to the confusion or due I trust that my God, my Father, knows all things and has them working for my best interest? Again, I don't know.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ESV
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