This was the shirt I was wearing today. This was the shirt that I wore every Wednesday I worked in Houston this summer. This year at the Mission Centers of Houston, the theme was "What If?" It was broken down into three sub-categories: what if served others? what if we loved people? what if we believed God? I remember when I heard them the first time I thought, "Oh that's nice." But when our executive director, Miss Ginger Smith (she is awesome), broke it down for us I had a distinctly more profound reaction. This "WOAH!" reaction was amplified even more this past week.
I sat in my room at my apartment at the end of last week wondering what I was going to do. I sat staring at my online bank account subtracting the bills I had to pay. I was going to be left with forty dollars, an empty gas tank and an empty refrigerator. So, me being me began to run thousands of possibilities through my head wondering how I was going to eat. How was I going to get to school or work for that matter? Let's not sugarcoat it; I was freaking out.
I realized in that moment that I wasn't going to make it another month on my own. I needed help. I clunked my elbows on my desk and dropped my head into my hands and wondered how I was going to get out of this mess. I knew I needed help but I didn't want to ask anyone. I had this epiphany. Maybe I can just make a list of my grocery needs and then rank them. Then, I will set a limit for how much money I will spend and see how far down the list I can go. Sounded like a reasonable plan. Then I saw how much different things cost. I wasn't going to get very far. My plan was failing. So, I called my mom. She told me that she could bring me some stuff that was on the list that she had at the house. I was really happy. I realized though that I couldn't depend on my mom every month for the rest of college or my life for that matter. Eventually this plan I knew would fail too.
I sank my head back into my hands and ran out of thoughts. Then, some little inaudible voice spoke. "Do you not believe I will take care of you?" I immediately thought of this red MCH tshirt. What if we believed God? It doesn't say what if we believed IN God. It asks if we believe God. That means believing His Word, His promises, and all else that comes with Him. So I was reminded of this verse:
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26 TNIV
How many times have I heard that verse but never thought about how I could actually use it my life! However, I am so glad that I had it stored away in the far reaches of my brain that it could bring me comfort in a time of minor despair! On a little side note, that is why it is so important to memorize Scripture.
The end of the story is that my Mom brought me a lot of food already made for me to eat along with other things that I needed but couldn't buy. I hadn't even told my aunt and uncle about my needs when I visited them yesterday but they decided to take me grocery shopping for whatever I needed! Now that I have a lot of the staples for my kitchen, it will be a lot shorter of a grocery list in the future!
It is so incredible to be blessed by God after laying down my pride and admitting I couldn't do it on my own. His blessings are so rich as they pour down like rain from above.
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