American Dreamer

I was talking with some of my friends a little while back about family origins. I came to the repeated conclusion that so many of my friends had families that were recently immigrated to the United States. As in their family had came to the United States within the last few generations and especially within the last century. I realized that I didn't have a cool story. I was not international. I remember telling them that I was about as American as you can get. 

You see, both sides of my family have lived in the United States since before the United States was the United States. On my dad's side of the family, the Spaids, which was originally spelled something along the lines of Spaight with a good dose of German phlegm,  they were Hessian soldiers. If you are up on your US History then you know that the Hessian soldiers were the ones hired by the British to help fight against the American patriots in the American Revolution. My mom's side of the family is from German origin as well also predating the Revolutionary War. So, that is a cool story. My family started out as soldiers who lost the war and stuck around. Cool. 

So, I got to thinking "what does it mean to be American?" I mean, I wasn't a German American because I really have no ties to that country. We Spaids have been Americans for as long as it was a possible nationality. 

When I think about American culture, I am always reminded of the vast contrast that is within our borders. I love the diversity. However, I can only know my specific culture well. My culture has been shaped by being in a family where most of the men have been career military or involved in agriculture, sometimes both. The women have traditionally become teachers or nurses. We are a very stereotypical Southern bunch. I can think of one outlier I would like to brag on briefly. That would be my cousin Donnie.

Donnie grew up in Metter where everything is better. He went to the University of Georgia and became the valedictorian. He was also awarded the Fulbright Scholar award fellowship. He then traveled and studied in Europe. He is a very talented musician. He married a German lady and they moved to New York City. They live in Greenwich Village. 

Anyhow, my family being from such hardworking and conservative backgrounds, has a culture that I have found commonly among many people around which I know. So maybe you have heard either of these phrases with or without the Southern twang or grammar. 

"If I can do it myself, I ain't about to pay somebody to do it." 

"If you want it done right, do it yourself."

Both of them suggest a sense of independence and self sufficiency. Both of which I feel are decent qualities. However, oftentimes what comes with these phrases is not as great. So many times, I have seen families project themselves as picture perfect when in public. I don't know how many times I have sharply whispered "not in public!" While I am not suggesting that people should lay all their problems out for the world to see, I am saying that it can be very dangerous to be so obsessed with this image of having it all together all by myself. This is something that I continue to struggle with. I find it difficult to accept help. I am always wanting to help others but I will make extra trips or carry that one last thing just so I can do it all myself. Surely I am not the only one. The two phrases I listed earlier have applied to my life in different areas and different times. 

Often, I don't let people help me. I can do it myself. This is somewhat like the American Dream. The best definition I have seen of the American Dream is that if you work hard enough everyone can reach a certain standard of living that is cliche-ly referencing a big house with a big yard and a white picket fence, a dog, and a couple kids thrown in the mix. Supposedly when people do have these possessions they have reached a level of success that they earned by working hard and hardwork is one of those key American values. 

I don't look down on people who have that as a part of their life. I think that it is a wonderful blessing because that is what it is, a blessing. Sometimes, in this world people can work hard for something and still not get what would make the American Dream. Sometimes, there are also people who just loaf around and "have it all." We could also vice versa the situation and some would call it what they deserved. 

I think we, especially me, should learn to be interdependent. However, as people will fail, our hope needs to be in Christ. That is what matters. That is what lasts.